


the wardrobe

by danhedonia



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 but just fluff, M/M, Phan - Freeform, The Wardrobe, also dan being a whiny bitch but we love him, its phils fault he does it in the vid and i couldn't very well leave it out COULD I, just a handjob, spoiler alert phils not innocent and it's not really expanded on but like, there is a slight sex reference though, there's no angst in this household only love, yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 08:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17300882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhedonia/pseuds/danhedonia
Summary: “I feel like these directions were written in another language.” Phil whined as Dan finished sorting through the stack of what felt like hundreds of pieces of wardrobe in front of them. “It’s like I’m reading Japanese or something.”“Phil.” Dan said, a soft smile spreading over his cheeks. “They’re pictures. How can they be another language?”“I don’t know. I’m no language expert.”“Don’t you have an actual degree in linguistics?”“No.” Phil said with a pout. “Well, yes, but that’s not… it’s not the same! This is picture-istics.”or4. "I'm too sober for this."22. "Did you just hiss at me?"48. "Welcome back. Now fucking help me."fromthis prompt sheet





	the wardrobe

**Author's Note:**

> so this is meant to be in this video! they built a wardrobe together in 2012 and this is partially bits straight out of that vid and partially ‘outtakes’. it may be in 2012 but there’s literally no angst, it’s just fluff bc the vid is just fluff. fight me.

“I feel like these directions were written in another language.” Phil whined as Dan finished sorting through the stack of what felt like hundreds of pieces of wardrobe in front of them. “It’s like I’m reading Japanese or something.”

“Phil.” Dan said, a soft smile spreading over his cheeks. “They’re pictures. How can they be another language?”

“I don’t know. I’m no language expert.”

“Don’t you have an actual degree in linguistics?”

“No.” Phil said with a pout. “Well, yes, but that’s not… it’s not the same! This is picture-istics.”

Dan laughed, loud and bright, and Phil couldn’t help giggle in response. “That doesn’t make any sense, you absolute spoon.”

“You don’t make any sense.” Phil shifted over, pressing his shoulder against Dan’s and looking at the pieces in front of them. “We should start. Staring at the Japanese pictures for even longer isn’t going to make us less confused.”

 

Once they had the first few pieces put together, Dan was trying to figure out what piece they needed next.

“Six.” Phil said without really thinking about it. His hands started absentmindedly rubbing over the piece of wood he had in his lap. Well, maybe it wasn’t entirely absentminded. Phil may act innocent on camera, but he knew exactly what it looked like when he made eye contact with Dan while his hands moved over the wood.

“Is it actually?” Dan looked up from the instructions. His eyes flickered from Phil’s face to his hands, which were pretty much giving their soon to be wardrobe a hand-job, and then back up to Phil’s eyes. Phil’s face was blank, a sort of faux-innocence that Dan knew all too well in his eyes, and Dan’s was somewhat incredulous. “Phil. Do you have - Do you.. have any idea what that just- no? Okay, no. Cut!”

Phil’s blank face dissolved into a small smirk as Dan’s eyes turned to the camera. 

“If you’re under twelve, stop watching!” Dan said before turning back to Phil, who was also looking at the camera with red cheeks and a bashful smile.

“I didn’t know what I was doing!” Phil said, and Dan was entirely unconvinced. Phil pulled this sort of stunt all the time. He only pretended not to know what he was doing in front of the camera.

“And by twelve, I mean eighteen.” Dan continued, because it was best to just ignore Phil when this happened. Normally, he wouldn’t care, but they were on camera, and this sort of thing almost always led to flirting, and Dan would rather just move on rather than have to edit out fifteen minutes of footage later.

But then Dan heard a noise, something a bit strange that he hadn’t heard come from Phil’s throat in a while. 

“Did you just hiss at me?” Dan asked, voice going a little high. Phil burst into giggles and covered his mouth. He nodded a bit, and Dan might’ve thought he looked endearing if he hadn't just  _ hissed _ . “Right. Dear god, is it two thousand nine again? Are you going to turn into Cat-Boy Lester again?” 

“Maybe.” Phil’s body shook with laughter as he leaned closer to Dan, playfully pawing at his shoulder. “Meow.”

“Phil, oh my god,  _ no _ .” Dan groaned. “I’m too sober for this.”

“Fine, fine. Let’s finish the wardrobe before I say ‘rawr’ and you spontaneously combust.”

 

The wardrobe was around halfway built at this point, and Phil was starting to screw in the second half of his screws. Dan was playing Fur Elise, per Phil’s second request. Moonlight Sonata got old after a little while.

“Do you reckon once this is built, we’ll be able to go to Narnia?” Phil asked as he turned a screw.

Dan paused for a moment, waiting until Phil looked up at him to answer. “No.” Phil slumped, and Dan managed to hold his laughter in for a moment. “Neither of us are magic uncles. This isn’t some ancient magical wardrobe made from a special magic tree. It’s a bloody Ikea wardrobe.”

“You’re no fun.” Phil pouted, reluctantly going back to turning the screws.

Dan turned back to his piano, continuing to play. It was quiet for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of Dan’s fingers pressing the piano keys filling the room. He didn’t realize how it had been much longer than was necessary for Phil to finish, not until Phil’s hands were sliding around his waist and Phil’s chin was on his shoulder.

“You’re so good.” Phil’s voice was soft and quiet, and Dan got the distinct impression that that ‘good’ wasn’t restricted to just piano. “I’m half tempted to ditch the wardrobe and just listen to you play for hours.”

Dan smiled softly, only hesitating for a moment before continuing the song. “We have to finish. You can listen to me play anytime once we’re all moved in.”

“I’ll take you up on that.”

They stayed like that for a few moments, just enjoying being close to each other, neither of them caring that the audio and at least part of the visual was being caught on tape. They could edit it out. They always did. Then Phil pulled away with a reluctant sigh. “Let’s get this over with. I have to pee first, though.”

“Hurry it up. The faster we’re done, the faster we can watch anime.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Phil grinned at Dan as he darted out of the room, reappearing a few minutes later. He stopped in the doorway, eyes wide. Dan was trying to stand the wardrobe upright by himself, but he was very, very bad at it, apparently. He looked like he was about to drop the entire thing and quite possibly break it and injure himself in the process. Phil couldn’t help laugh. “What the hell are you doing?”

“There you are!” Dan said, panicked eyes finding Phil’s. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

Phil moved forward, carefully helping Dan lower it down to the ground again before bursting into giggles. “You’re the most impatient person I know.” He stepped toward Dan, looking him over quickly to make sure he was okay. “I was gone for, like, five minutes. You couldn’t wait that long?”

Dan whined a little and leaned into Phil. “I just wanted to get it done. Don’t make fun of me.”

Phil’s lips brushed Dan’s cheek, and then he was pulling away again. “Alright, then. Let’s get it done.” He bent down to grab the top of the wardrobe, waited until Dan’s hands were around the base, and then pushed it upright.

“It’s being born!” Phil said excitedly as Dan sang a theme song in a high-pitched voice. “It’s starting to look like an actual wardrobe!”

After that, they sped through the rest of the building process rather quickly, with Dan making fun of Phil much more than necessary. Phil would’ve complained, except the way that Dan’s eyes lit up and he smiled at Phil like he was the only important thing in the world made up for it all. Besides, he knew Dan didn’t mean it. Neither of them did. As much as they might have teased each other, there was nothing but love behind it.

So Phil didn’t feel too bad when he decided to sneak inside of the newly-completed wardrobe while Dan picked up some trash from the corner that they were going to put it in. He nearly lost it when Dan started trying to talk to him, and he had to bring his hand up to his mouth to stifle any sounds that were threatening to come out.

Dan kept saying Phil’s name over and over again, sounding increasingly panicked. Phil would’ve felt bad if it weren’t so funny.

When he heard a loud, nervous  _ ‘Phiiw _ ,’ Phil decided he could take it anymore. He pushed the doors open and poked his head out. “Rawr!”

Dan’s face went blank again as Phil crawled out, laughing increasingly louder. He tried to look angry for a moment, but he just couldn’t, not when Phil’s laugh was lighting up the room like that. A smile spread over Dan’s cheeks, and an exasperated but somehow much too fond chuckle started to bubble out of his throat.

“As if you’d got in the wardrobe-” Dan stepped forward to look in the wardrobe. He hadn’t thought it’d be big enough for one of them to fit inside. Apparently he was wrong, though. “Maybe your Narnia theory was right. There’s  _ no  _ way that you were in there.”

“Yes there was! And it’s all on tape!” Phil pointed to the camera, still giggling excitedly.

“Whatever.” Dan moved in and shoved Phil’s shoulder, then stepped back toward the wardrobe. “Now help me move this, you rat.”

Phil did as Dan asked, but didn’t stop the teasing even a little bit. He couldn’t help it. He was excited. It had almost always been Dan doing the pranking and Phil being pranked, and Phil was so ecstatic that he’d finally gotten to get Dan back.

“You were so scared.” Phil said as they finished putting the wardrobe in place. He reached out to Dan again and warmth bloomed in his chest as Dan fell into him, whining softly. Anybody else might’ve found it annoying, the way that Dan so easily threw out insults and pranked people, but turned into a whiny mess when it was turned back around on him. “You’re so cute. Makes me wanna kiss your cheeks. And your nose. And your forehead. And your lips. And your entire face.”

“Phil.” Dan whined, once again dragging the ‘i’ out and replacing the ‘l’ sound with a ‘w’, the way he always did when he was trying to get his way with Phil. “Stop it.”

Dan’s cheeks were red. Phil’s heart felt like it was going to explode. “Only if you let me pick the anime.”

“You’re such a jerk.” Dan’s voice was still whiny, but he wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck and kissed him gently. “Fine. But I get to lay on your chest while we watch it.”

“Is that supposed to be something I have to reluctantly agree to?” Phil laughed and pulled away from Dan, but left their hands connected as he pulled Dan toward their lounge that held nothing but a sofa and their TV. “Sounds like a great night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments are very much appreciated <3
> 
> If you're feeling generous, likes and reblogs on [the tumblr post](https://danhedonia.tumblr.com/post/181714000035/4-22-and-48-please) are also very much appreciated. I will send you all of my love and happiness.


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